Arrogance is an interesting trait.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Few things are as annoying as arrogant people. When I was younger there wasn’t a single personality trait that bothered me more. But as I grew up, especially through the many years of competition, I started to understand and even appreciate arrogance.

At first I thought arrogant people were simply over confident, completely full of themselves and enjoyed displaying their imagined superiority for everyone else to see.

After catching myself behaving arrogantly, and disliking it in myself even more than I did anyone else, I started thinking about it and tried to figure out where it was coming from. Here is what I learned.

Arrogance is not usually a display of true self confidence. It is more often a display of insecurity. It is a strategy we use, sometimes consciously sometimes subconsciously, to convince ourselves that we are as self confident as we wish we were, as we want to be.

At times we all feel scared, nervous and not ready to perform. Allowing this fear to take over and dictate our behavior only weakens us. Rather than giving into fear some of us try to psych ourselves up by acting more confident than we actually are. Though this can sometimes result in obnoxious, arrogant behavior the intentions are good and it is far better for our performance than cowering in the corner in fear.

With a little maturity most people ultimately discover this effort to display their self confidence only wastes much needed energy and works against them. True self confidence is not something you have to display for others.  It is something you hold within, something that calms and strengthens you, something you feel deep in side with certainty so there is no need to try and convince others around you.

We may at times need to convince ourselves to have the self confidence we deserve (or may not deserve but still need).

And I have no doubt that acting like the confident person we want to be

helps us to actually become that confident person.

But I think it’s better to do it quietly in your own heart, in a calm, humble manner rather than in a public display.  It will be much more convincing to yourself and those around you.

And much less obnoxious.

 

 

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About Dan

Author, Speaker, Coach and World Champion Dan Brodsky-Chenfeld will show you how to create champions and build winning teams.

7 thoughts on “Arrogance is an interesting trait.”

  1. Good stuff, Dan. Self confidence spills over and motivates those around us. No play acting needed. I’m not a world class coach but I believe in myself and have always been able to help others get excited about 4-way and perform to the best of their abilities. It helps to love what you do, which you know as well as anybody on the planet. ;-)

    Blue Skies!
    –Ed

  2. Your post somehow found me at an appropriate time and your message is very much appreciate. It reinforces my own belief system, and motivates me to continue to dim the lights a little bit so that other may shine. After all, self control over arrogant behavior can often times be just as much a challenge as continued progress when faced with the arrogance of others. I look forward to more nuggets of inspirational wisdom!
    Shine on, my friend!

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